Finding Calm in the Chaos: Simple Ways to Manage Stress and Overwhelm This Christmas

It's the most wonderful time of the year, they say. But if you're reading this while mentally tallying your to-do list, worrying about money, dreading difficult family dynamics, or feeling utterly overwhelmed by it all—you're not alone.

Christmas is sold to us as a season of joy, connection, and magic. And it can be. But for many people, it's also a season of genuine stress, anxiety, and exhaustion that nobody really talks about.

As a CBT therapist specialising in anxiety and stress, I see this every year: capable, organised people who manage complex lives suddenly feeling like they're drowning in December. And it's not because you're failing at Christmas—it's because the season puts unique pressure on your nervous system that your usual coping strategies can't always handle.

So let's talk about why Christmas feels so overwhelming, and—more importantly—two simple, science-backed exercises you can use when the stress becomes too much.

Why Christmas Overwhelms Your Nervous System

Christmas doesn't just add a few extra tasks to your week. It fundamentally disrupts the things your nervous system relies on to feel safe and regulated.

1. Loss of Routine and Predictability

Your brain finds safety in predictability. Knowing what to expect, when things will happen, and how your day will unfold keeps your stress response calm.

But Christmas dismantles all of that. Work schedules change. Shops have different hours. Social obligations appear out of nowhere. School routines stop. You're expected to attend events, host gatherings, travel, see people you don't usually see—all while maintaining normal life responsibilities.

Your nervous system doesn't interpret this as "festive fun." It interprets it as "unpredictable environment = potential threat." Cue: anxiety, stress, feeling on edge.

2. Decision Fatigue and Mental Load

Every day, your brain makes thousands of tiny decisions. Most are automatic and don't drain you. But Christmas exponentially increases the number of conscious decisions you have to make:

What should I buy for [person]? How much should I spend? What's the plan for Christmas Day? What time do we need to leave? What should I cook? Who needs to be where and when? Did I remember to [X]? Should I accept that invitation? What if [Y] happens?

This is called decision fatigue—the mental exhaustion that comes from too many choices. And it depletes your capacity to regulate emotions, stay patient, and manage stress.

3. Social Pressure and Expectation Overload

Christmas comes with invisible rules:

• You should feel joyful

• You should spend time with family

• You should make everything special

• You should be generous (even if money's tight)

• You should enjoy it

When reality doesn't match those expectations—when you feel stressed instead of joyful, when family gatherings are difficult, when finances are strained—the gap between "should" and "is" creates guilt, shame, and more stress.

Your nervous system is now managing not just the practical overwhelm, but the emotional weight of feeling like you're failing at something everyone else seems to handle effortlessly.

4. Sensory Overload

Christmas is loud, bright, crowded, and constant. Shops blast music. Lights flash everywhere. Social events mean noise, crowds, and stimulation. Even at home, the environment changes—decorations, different foods, people visiting, disrupted sleep schedules.

For people whose nervous systems are already running high (due to anxiety, stress, or simply modern life), this sensory overload can tip you from "coping" into "completely overwhelmed."

The result? By mid-December, your nervous system is on high alert, your capacity for stress is depleted, and even small things—a delayed train, a forgotten ingredient, a passive-aggressive comment—can feel catastrophic.

Two Simple Exercises to Try When the Overwhelm Hits

You can't eliminate Christmas stress entirely (unless you're opting out completely, which is also valid!). But you can give your nervous system tools to come back down from overwhelm when it spikes.

Here are two evidence-based techniques I teach clients. Both take less than 5 minutes. Both actually work.

Exercise 1: The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

When to use it: When you feel panic rising, your thoughts are spiralling, or you're so overwhelmed you can't think straight.

Why it works: When you're anxious or stressed, your brain is stuck in threat-mode, scanning for problems and catastrophising about the future. Grounding pulls you out of your head and back into the present moment—which is almost always more manageable than the future your brain is predicting.

This technique works by engaging your five senses, which sends a signal to your nervous system: "We're here, in this moment, noticing our surroundings. There's no immediate threat."

How to do it:

Wherever you are—sitting at your desk, standing in a shop, lying in bed—pause and slowly identify:

5 things you can see

Look around. Name them in your mind or out loud: "The clock on the wall. My blue mug. The tree outside. The door handle. My phone."

4 things you can physically feel

Notice textures, temperatures, sensations: "The chair beneath me. My feet on the floor. The fabric of my jumper. The cool air on my face."

3 things you can hear

Tune into sounds, even subtle ones: "Traffic outside. The hum of the fridge. Someone talking in another room."

2 things you can smell

If you can't smell anything nearby, think of two smells you like: "Coffee. Fresh air."

1 thing you can taste

Notice any taste in your mouth, or think of a taste you enjoy: "Toothpaste. The tea I just had."

Why this works:

Grounding interrupts the anxiety spiral by shifting your brain's attention from abstract worry ("What if everything goes wrong?") to concrete, sensory reality ("I'm sitting here. I'm safe right now.").

It activates your prefrontal cortex (the rational, present-moment part of your brain) and calms your amygdala (the alarm system). You're essentially telling your nervous system: "We're okay. We're here. We're safe."

Do this slowly. Don't rush it. The slower you go, the more effective it is.

Exercise 2: The Physiological Sigh

When to use it: When stress is building in your body—tight chest, shallow breathing, tension in your shoulders, that feeling of being wound too tight.

Why it works: Stress activates your sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight mode). One of the fastest ways to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest mode) is through breath—specifically, through exhaling.

The physiological sigh is a breathing pattern that's been shown in research (Stanford University) to rapidly reduce stress and anxiety. It's not "deep breathing"—it's a specific pattern that maximises the calming exhale.

How to do it:

1. Double inhale through your nose:

   Take a breath in through your nose.

   Before you exhale, take a second, shorter inhale (a little "sip" of air) through your nose to top up your lungs.

2. Long, slow exhale through your mouth:

   Now exhale all the air out slowly through your mouth. Make it longer than the inhales—let it be a deep, complete exhale.

3. Repeat 2-3 times.

That's it. Two inhales (one long, one short), one long exhale. Repeat a few times.

Why this works:

The double inhale reinflates the tiny air sacs in your lungs (alveoli) that collapse slightly when you're stressed and breathing shallowly. This increases oxygen exchange.

The long exhale activates your vagus nerve, which is the main nerve of your parasympathetic nervous system. It literally sends a signal to your body: "It's safe. Stand down. We can relax now."

You're not trying to "think calm thoughts." You're physiologically shifting your nervous system state. And it works in under a minute.

Use this when:

• You're stuck in traffic and feeling your stress building

• You're about to walk into a difficult family gathering

• You've just had an argument and your body is buzzing

• You're lying in bed and your mind won't stop racing

• You're in the middle of Christmas shopping and feel like screaming

  
  

You're Not Failing at Christmas

If you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or not particularly "festive" right now—that doesn't mean you're doing Christmas wrong. It means you're human, and your nervous system is responding to a genuinely demanding season.

The pressure to feel joyful while simultaneously managing:

• Financial strain

• Social obligations

• Family dynamics

• Work deadlines

• Disrupted routines

• Endless decision-making

• Sensory overload

...is a lot. More than a lot.

So if you need to:

• Say no to some invitations

• Lower your standards for what Christmas "should" look like

• Take breaks and quiet moments when you need them

• Use these grounding techniques multiple times a day

That's not weakness. That's self-awareness. That's taking care of your nervous system so you can actually be present for the moments that matter.

A Final Thought

Christmas doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful. It doesn't have to be joyful every moment to be worthwhile. And you don't have to push through overwhelm just because everyone else seems to be managing.

Your wellbeing matters—not just for Christmas Day, but for the weeks and months that follow.

So take a breath (maybe a physiological sigh). Ground yourself when you need to (5-4-3-2-1). And give yourself permission to navigate this season in whatever way protects your peace.

You're doing better than you think. I promise.

If you're finding stress and anxiety overwhelming—not just at Christmas, but in general—you don't have to keep managing it alone.

I'm Liz, a CBT therapist specialising in anxiety, stress, and overwhelm. I help people understand what's driving their stress, build practical tools to manage it, and create lasting change.

If you'd like support, you can fill out an enquiry form to see how we can work together.

Wishing you moments of calm in the chaos 💙