When Autumn Feels Heavier: Why the Season Can Stir Up Social Anxiety

As the nights draw in and the air gets colder, many people start talking about cosy jumpers, pumpkin spice and festive plans. But if you live with social anxiety, this time of year can feel anything but cosy.

The shift into autumn and winter often brings a quiet pressure — more gatherings, more small talk, more opportunities to be “seen.” Halloween parties, Bonfire Night crowds, the build-up to Christmas socials… all those situations that others seem to look forward to can quietly fill you with dread.

If that’s you — you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

Why the season feels harder

In my work (and honestly, in my own life in years gone by), I’ve noticed that autumn and winter tend to amplify social anxiety for a few reasons:

🍂 There’s less daylight and less energy.Shorter days can make it harder to motivate yourself. Fatigue and low mood can heighten anxious thoughts and make socialising feel like a mountain.

🎃 There’s a sudden rise in social expectations.Halloween parties, work events, family gatherings — things that others see as fun can feel like a series of “tests” when you’re already managing a busy internal world.

🎆 There’s more visibility.Bonfire Night crowds, busy shops, louder environments — these can feel overstimulating and unpredictable. For someone with social anxiety, unpredictability often equals “unsafe.”

🎄 There’s emotional contrast.When everyone else seems cheerful and connected, it can deepen the sense that you’re “missing something” — even when you’re doing your best just to get through.

What I’ve learned personally

Before I trained as a therapist, I remember this season feeling heavy in ways I couldn’t explain.I’d say no to invitations and feel guilty for it — or say yes and spend the whole time rehearsing what to say. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to connect — it’s that my nervous system was on high alert in situations that others found effortless.

What I’ve come to understand, both through my own experience and in my work with clients, is this:

Social anxiety isn’t about not wanting to be social. It’s about a nervous system that has learned that visibility equals danger.

That belief doesn’t just vanish when the calendar changes — but the seasonal shift can make it louder.

A gentle reframe

What if this season wasn’t something to “push through,” but an opportunity to understand what your anxiety is trying to protect you from? Maybe your nervous system isn’t failing you — it’s overworking to keep you safe.

Instead of forcing yourself to “be more social,” you could start by asking:

• What feels safe enough for me right now?

• What helps me regulate after being around people?

• What boundaries can I set that make this season feel manageable?

  
  

Even small steps — like leaving events early without guilt, planning solo recovery time, or finding one person who feels grounding — can make this time of year more bearable.

A tool I teach my clients to help with seasonal social anxiety

One simple practice I often use in therapy is “anchoring presence” — a way to soothe your nervous system before or during social events.

Try this:Before entering a social situation, pause and notice three sensory details — the feel of your feet on the ground, the sound of background music, the texture of your jumper.This helps your brain register safety in the present moment instead of getting lost in “what if” thoughts.

It’s simple, but powerful — and over time, it teaches your nervous system that being visible doesn’t have to mean being in danger.

A gentle invitation

If you’re already feeling the pressure of the months ahead — the parties, the small talk, the noise — please know this: you don’t have to face it alone, and it doesn’t have to feel this hard forever.

There are ways to make this season feel lighter, calmer, and more you.

✨ You can fill in my enquiry form to explore how I can help you build that confidence step by step — or just follow along for more real talk and tools for social anxiety as we head into the winter.