Is there a Connection between Sleep and Social Anxiety? (Yes! And it is treatable)

If you live with social anxiety, chances are you know the feeling of lying in bed, desperate to drift off—but instead your mind is replaying that awkward comment from earlier, or rehearsing tomorrow’s meeting on loop. You’re exhausted, but your brain just won’t switch off.

As a therapist specialising in social anxiety and sleep, I see this a lot. In fact, clients often first come to me because they’re struggling with sleep as much as with anxiety.

How Social Anxiety Shows Up at Night

Social anxiety doesn’t just disappear when you put your head on the pillow. Here are some common sleep struggles I hear about:

• Difficulty falling asleep – Your mind won’t stop overthinking conversations or anticipating tomorrow’s interactions.

• Waking up in the night – Once awake, your brain immediately goes into “what if” mode, making it hard to settle back down.

• Restless, poor-quality sleep – Even if you sleep, you wake feeling unrefreshed because your body never fully switched out of “alert mode.”

This can take a real toll—on energy, focus, mood, and of course, your confidence in managing anxiety during the day.

The Well-Meaning Advice (That Doesn’t Always Help)

Friends and family often suggest things like:

• “Just switch off your phone an hour before bed.”

• “Try not to think about it.”

• “Count sheep!”

While these tips come from a good place, they can feel dismissive or even add pressure. When your mind is wired to overthink, being told to “just relax” often makes you feel like you’re failing at something else.

A Tip to Try Tonight to Ease Anxious Thoughts

Instead of battling with your thoughts, try a different approach: make space for them without getting tangled up in them.

Here’s how:

• Imagine your anxious thoughts as words on a screen, or leaves floating past on a river.

• Notice them come and go, without needing to grab or push them away.

• If your mind wanders, gently guide it back—like saying, “Ah, there’s another thought,” and letting it float past.

This isn’t about stopping the thoughts (that rarely works!) but about changing your relationship with them. The less you fight, the less power they hold over you.

Diving Deeper

In therapy, I help people untangle the deeper patterns behind their social anxiety and sleep struggles. Together, we identify the triggers, calm the nervous system with grounding and relaxation techniques, and rewire the unhelpful thought spirals that keep you stuck in worry cycles.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to help. Fill in my enquiry form to see how I can support you in finding calmer nights and more confident days.