Back-to-School Anxiety: How Parents Can Help Their Child Feel Calm and Confident

As summer comes to a close, many families begin preparing for the return to school. For some children and teenagers, this can be an exciting time—catching up with friends, new classes, and fresh opportunities. But for others, the start of a new school year can trigger feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and overwhelm.

I support young people experiencing back-to-school stress, and I want to reassure you that it's incredibly common. I also taught in the classroom for 18 years prior to becoming a therapist, and I can assure you that many school staff also experience the ‘tummy churning’ feeling too before the return in September! Whether it’s the transition into a new year group, moving schools, or just adjusting back to routine after the holidays—these feelings are valid and manageable.

Why Do Children and Teens Feel Anxious About Going Back to School?

There are many reasons young people may feel anxious about returning to school, including:

• Worries about friendships or social pressures

• Fear of academic pressure or not “keeping up”

• Changes in routine after the slower pace of summer

• Transitions (new teachers, classrooms, or even a new school entirely)

• Separation anxiety, after a summer at home with family

• Previous experiences of bullying or feeling unsupported

Sometimes, a young person might not be able to explain why they feel uneasy—they just know that something doesn’t feel right. That’s okay. What matters is helping them feel seen, heard, and supported.

Signs Your Child Might Be Anxious About School

Not all children will voice their worries directly. Some common signs of school-related anxiety include:

• Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares

• Stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause

• Irritability, mood swings, or withdrawing from others

• Avoidance or reluctance to talk about school

• Clinginess or sudden fear of being away from home

How You Can Help as a Parent

You don’t need to have all the answers—you just need to be present, patient, and supportive. Here are some practical ways to help ease your child’s back-to-school anxiety:

1. Create Space to Talk

Gently open up a conversation about how your child is feeling. Ask open-ended questions like:

• “What are you most looking forward to about going back?”

• “Is there anything that’s been on your mind about school?”

Validate their feelings, even if their worries seem small to you. Avoid rushing to “fix” things—just being heard can be incredibly reassuring.

Quite often, children can be more responsive to ‘tricky’ conversations when they do not have to give direct eye contact - so if you feel like your child is particularly unresponsive to these questions, try again whilst you’re driving in the car, or walking the dog alongside each other.

2. Get Back Into Routine Gradually

A predictable routine helps reduce anxiety. Start easing back into a school-day schedule a week or so before term begins—earlier bedtimes, regular meals, and structured mornings can make the transition smoother.

3. Plan Ahead Together

If practical worries are causing stress (e.g., where their classroom is, what to take), go through things together:

• Pack the school bag ahead of time

• Talk through the school day step-by-step

• If possible, visit the school grounds before term starts

  
  

4. Build Coping Skills

Teach your child calming techniques they can use if they start to feel overwhelmed at school:

• Deep breathing (e.g., “smell the flower, blow out the candle”)

• Visualisation (thinking of a calm place)

• Positive self-talk (e.g., “I’ve done this before, I can do it again”)

  
  

5. Be Mindful of Your Own Feelings

Children often pick up on their parents’ anxiety. Try to model calm confidence when talking about school. It’s okay to acknowledge that transitions can be tricky—but also show your belief in their ability to handle it.

6. Know When to Seek Extra Support

If your child’s anxiety doesn’t ease after a few weeks or begins to affect their sleep, appetite, or daily functioning, it may be time to seek professional support. A therapist trained to work with children and teens can help them build resilience, confidence, and healthy coping tools. Book a free chat today to see how I can help. 

Final Thoughts

Starting a new school year is a big step, and it’s natural for both parents and children to feel a mix of emotions. With gentle support and practical strategies, most children settle back into the school routine just fine.

And remember—you don’t have to do it all alone. If you feel your child needs extra support with their anxiety, I’m here to help.

If you’d like to find out more about how I work with children and teens experiencing anxiety, stress, or school-related worries, feel free to get in touch.